@wigglytuffitout Prompt: Bruce Pennyworth, Clark Kent, Lina "Inverse" Kyle, and Pam Isley play D&D

@noelle i honestly have absolutely kicked this idea around but through like. memos posted on the break room at justice league headquarters

dnd house rules -

  1. batman's character is not allowed a bag of holding
  2. batman's character is not allowed to use mage hand[ several additional rules follow ]
  3. BATMAN IS NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING BUT DM
  4. BATMAN IS NOT ALLOWED TO DM ANYTHING EVER AGAIN
  5. batman is only allowed to play if supes makes the character sheet on account of being a horrid minmaxing goblin(small scribble of protest in the margins: THIS IS GOTHPHOBIC)

@noelle ok that formatting kinda broke but you get the idea

if there's any superhero who would exclusively play minmaxing munchkins, and interrupt a carefully planned adventure in order to invent the peasant railgun and other rules-lawyering nonsensical shit, it's batman

@wigglytuffitout "Hey guys, I've got a great idea for a charact--"

"four voices at once NO."

@noelle this is exactly why supes makes the character sheets, and bats rolls around making dramatic frustrated noises about it

meanwhile superman is playing The World's Most Boring DnD Character, because of course that fool is playing a lawful good human paladin. of course he is. he somehow makes it interesting and is a great party member but of course he is.

@wigglytuffitout "Tonight, Superman am playing lawful good paladin!"
"...Clark, your sheet says 'rogue'."
"It do not!"
"Hang on a second."

they confer.

"So that's totally Bizarro, right?"
"Yeah, but..."
"What?"
"It'd be nice to have a change, you know?"
"What?"
"Clark always plays a lawful good paladin. Maybe a rogue will shake things up."
"Bruce, your boyfriend is missing and has been replaced by an extradimensional impostor."
"Look, if he hasn't freed himself by the time the session's done, we'll go find him."
"But--"
"It'll make him feel better. Ego boost. And besides, he'd want us to welcome a new player to the table."
"...I desperately wish I could find a way to argue with that."

@noelle bizarro is the one who shows up and insists he's playing a kobold. everyone else just kinda goes

"...fuck it, let's see where he's going with this"

by the end of the adventure bizarro has ended up playing The Adopted Team Mascot the whole campaign through; the next campaign bizarro's gonna DM and they're ALL playing kobolds

@noelle @wigglytuffitout

I want to know who leaked my campaign notes.

Also, I kind of want to make a tongue-in-cheek list of things players aren't allowed to do (in the spirit of "Things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do...), but don't know how to do so because I allow so darned much in my campaign I gave the kobolds megazords.

Megazords.

@magicalmilly @noelle @wigglytuffitout In this case, no.

Dr. Bright is from the SCP universe, and as a near-immortal has very poor impulse control for a doctor of science.

There's a list of 300 things he's not allowed to do on the scp-wiki page.

@noelle @wigglytuffitout To be fair I had to create the game mechanics for them, and they were never really balanced.

reading this is going to hurt 

@crash @wigglytuffitout I know Cindy did too. <3

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Just Ellie (and perhaps some of her toys).