In the US, companies are under no obligation to honor any request that they stop sending you physical mail. Send them as many requests in as varied a format as you like; they can ignore each and every one.

EXCEPT. If you say "please stop, this mailing made me horny", they are required by federal law to immediately block your address. It doesn't have to be honest or sincere; just saying "your ad turned me on, and I don't like it" is enough. 🌈⭐️

@noelle im gonna feel super gross saying this to ensure waste stops


*grumbles about recent convo with cis males that couldnt figure out why someone would want a dildo as a male*

@noelle I unironically cannot tell if this is real or a shitpost

@stolas_mk2 @noelle

I could see it being a thing where saying the ad was a turn-on puts it in the realm of porn, thus triggering society's moral-panic third rail and all the legal trappings around that.

If this is somehow actually true, I wonder if it can be used constructively in other ways.

@woozle @stolas_mk2 @noelle please your army recruitment booth is making me horny you must stop!!

@noelle @stolas_mk2 @woozle do you know if Section 3008 applies to all the different kinds of junk mail, like "standard rate" (I suspect yes) and advertising fliers that don't have my address listed on them (I suspect no)?

@eqe @stolas_mk2 @woozle I suspect it's just to mail that's addressed to you or your location, instead of just "per-mailbox" fliers (which should be outlawed anyway), but I'm not sure.

@noelle @sinvega I complained to the BBB about the Chicago Tribune sending us a bundle of ads every couple days. Got an official reply from them and they stopped. Maybe that could be a route too.

@noelle Oh shit, I'm going to have to try this. The Church of Scientology has been mailing me for 30 years since the age of 16 when I took a sidewalk personality test. They've followed me across 3 states and like 12 addresses. It would be great if all I had to say was L. Ron Hubbard's smarmy little face makes me turgid

@noelle :pika: :pika: :pika:

Holy cow this is the best thing!!πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

@noelle can I put a sticker on my mailbox that says "ads make me horny and I don't like it"?

@noelle it would never have occurred to me that for the USPS police service, horny jail is a real thing.

@noelle well, you should submit the relevant form: "You can request the order by completing the relevant portion of PS Form 1500, Application for Listing and/or Prohibitory Order, and submitting it to any Post Officeβ„’." saying it makes you horny just isn't quite enough.

@noelle β€œI want you to stamp your mail and put it in my gaping box.”

Ew. πŸ˜€

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Hic quoque abibit.

Just Ellie (and perhaps some of her toys).