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Hi there! I'm Noëlle, but you can call me Ellie. I'm a non-gender-conforming, non-HRT trans woman in my 40s who lives in mid-Michigan. I have a son in his 20s and I'm dating @sith_shenanigans . I've been a programmer all my life (currently focusing on Python), and I'm nominally a published writer but I've been in a creative slump for a while.

I have depression and anxiety, both of which are fairly well-treated. I also have an autoimmune disorder that's caused my kidneys to fail, so I undergo daily hemodialysis to help perform the functions my kidneys can't anymore. I call the dialyzer "the vampire", since it sucks my blood for ten hours a week. (It gives it back later, though.) The latter is the reason why I'm non-HRT; we have to figure out how to give me estrogen in a way that the dialyzer won't just suck it back out of me.

I'm an amateur musician and artist, and I like making toys and games in my free time. My first video game was Pong, my first real computer was a TI-99/4A (although my most formative computers were an IBM PC/XT and a Macintosh LC), and I use a flavor of Ubuntu Linux as my daily driver. My current video game obsessions are FFXIV and Vampire Survivors (which is weird, because I usually don't like bullet hell games).

Let me know if you have any questions!

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Hey, gang: if you don't like that I'm in a relationship with an adult who's substantially younger than I am, or if you're likely to shit on adults who are in age-gap relationships where I can see you, please use the Block feature of your social media app now and save us both some grief. Thank you. :no_at:

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You have permission to favorite my negative posts, with the meaning "I have seen this and acknowledge it", and I promise not to interpret that as a favorable reaction.

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Saying this so I can pin it: Right now, with (I think) four exceptions, I haven't followed any accounts that haven't followed me first (two of those immediately followed me, and two of those are bots).

I want this account to be opt-in in both directions. If you would like me to follow you, please send me a follow request and then (if we haven't interacted before) interact with me. I am decidedly not Team Follow-Back but I do pay attention and I'm glad to have more friends. 💜

hey what's a solid cellular provider in the us, mine is failing me enormously and i am out of patience and livid. i already have an unlocked phone if that can make my life easier, i don't need a new one

MAVERICK: "We finally did it. We won."

ICEMAN: "I guess this really was... a Top Gun."

MAVERICK: "No, ICEMAN. The real Top Gun was the friends we made along the way."

The best part of "Top Gun: Maverick" is when Tom Cruise looks at Val Kilmer and says "It's Morbin' time"

LB: This is not why I love Charles but it's certainly a contributing factor. :D

One like, one terrible, tired, old band / orchestra joke. (Mostly oboes and conductors tbh, but you know)

Currently making up stories in my head about why my grocery order, which a shopper had already started shopping almost two hours ago, just abruptly got cancelled without reason given.

At the moment, my shopper was part of an international spy ring and had to fight his way out of the store after ninjas attacked.

Today in absurd misogyny: apparently "girls who wear contacts are liars" because "girls with glasses aren't hot" so if a woman wears contacts she's trying to deceive men into thinking she's hot when she's really not? :blobconfused:

I'd love to do an analysis of PVP matches, mechanically tracking how often a given player wins in matchups and collecting information about whether they feel like they win most of the time and how fun they feel like their class is in PVP.

I suspect that, in general, players won't feel like they're winning "most of the time" if they win 51% of their matches; it'll probably have to be 60-70%. And I suspect that the more fun a player feels their class is, the lower that percentage will be.

People keep abbreviating Stranger Things as "ST" and I keep thinking they mean Star Trek

uspol, guns, medical 

There's a post going around suggesting that "we treat every young man who wants to buy a gun like every woman who wants to get an abortion", but I have a different idea: let's treat them like every young woman who wants to get a hysterectomy.

"No, sorry - what if you want to not have a gun later? And anyway, you should wait to see what your future wife thinks."

They said I couldn’t do it. That I needed to go into the family business. They also said going to school for art would result in a lot of debt. They were right on that part, unfortunately. Who would buy my real, physical paintings when you can buy a shitty drawing of an ape with a hat to use as an avatar on Twitter for unthinkable sums? I’ve gotten so desperate I’ve started placing ads on bulletin boards: Lilac Parker (203B): Commissions open!

You know, maybe I could place a curse—No. That’s behind me. No curses, no blessings, no charms!

But as I paint over a tree in my latest piece—unfortunately, “Happy Little Accidents” don’t sell either, I can hear my back screaming. Or maybe that’s another feral cat that wants to be a familiar, I need a break. And, it occurs to me, in awful human being fashion, my clothes have been in the dryer for at least two hours. Shit.

I dash back to the laundry room, where Ms. Matilda is glaring at me. She looks more pissed off than usual, and she has a bad haircut. I give her an apology, but being even five minutes late for laundry is an indelible sin to her, let alone two hours.

“You’re lucky I didn’t take the load and throw it in the trash!”

She’s right, I am lucky, she’s done it before. I thank her.

“You know how you could make it up to me?”

I swallow and ask.

“I need some magic done.”

I focus on putting my clothes in the basket. “I think there’s a magic atelier in Parkview. You can take the 66 Bus.”

“No, I was thinking more... local.”

“It’s a 10 minute bus ride.”

“Lilac. Did you think I didn’t know?”

Well yeah, you never mentioned it and you can’t keep your trap shut, so yeah. “I don’t do magic. I can give you a painting though. Maybe put it up in your bedroom.” I pick up my basket, and unfortunately Matilda is blocking the exit.

“Lilac Catlily.”

“I’m Lilac Parker. Remember?”

She waves her hand. “Yes. Awful convenient to take your father’s name.”

That’s.... how it works. I chuckle “The Patriarchy at work I suppose,” I turn to go around her, but she widens her stance.

“Do some magic for me, Lilac Catlily-Parker.”

This isn’t gonna end, is it? “What do I get out of it?”

“I’ll pay three months of your rent and student loan payments.”

“All right, I’m in, what spell do you want?” I can certainly resurrect her Venus Fly Trap or whatever she wants.
She starts dragging me back towards her apartment. “A love potion.”

Besides being surprised someone as heartless as her could know love, I grimace from years of Catlily Atelier’s training weighs me down. Never accept love potion requests. “That’s an awfully difficult request.”

“I know it’s not, I looked up the recipe on All-Spells.”

That explains the bad haircut. She must have tried a couple times on her own. “Ethically I mean.” Making someone fall in love with you, aside from being ethically unsound, is also unsound practically, but I neglect to mention that part.

“We used to be lovers.”

“Look, if he broke—”

“She did not. She’s got dementia.”

In spite of myself, I’m intrigued. I stop in place. “You’re not going to ask me to cure her illness?”

“Do you think I didn’t ask around? No one can do that.”

“So you want to... remind her that she loves you?”

“In short, yes.” Granny Matilda opens the door. “I’ve got what you need in here.”

She immediately hands me a box next to her door. “Hair from both of us, her favorite scent, a photo of the two of us, Yarrow, Lavender, and Daisies harvested with moonlight.”

No wonder the community garden has looked worse for wear lately.

“All right, I’ll do this. But: you have to give it to her when I say, and... you have to hang up one of my paintings, and tell anyone who asks that it’s from me.”

Matilda sighs. “Fine. Just get on with it.”

I scurry back to my room.

Normally, you would brew all of it under moonlight, but aside from the fact I have no good moonlight-basking windows, I have a better idea. I stare at the photo so I can keep in mind both parties, and begin the process.

As the first batch steeps, I produce the next.

One of the practical concerns about Love Potions is they don’t work for long. Roughly a month per dose. I can certainly brew her three months’ worth, but I also had another idea.

I take a fan-brush, dip it in the first completed batch and start applying it to one of my landscapes.

Certainly my landscape, by virtue of being painted by me, has power, but I may be a romantic that also believes a photo of the two of them, together, with a bit of something special to enhance it, will also help. The photo is delicate, so I don’t apply as much, but I suspect I won’t need to.

After I send Matilda the potions to share, the landscape, and the photo, I hear nothing back. But usually no news is good news.

And then, next time I’m doing laundry, I see on the bulletin board, someone has scribbled out my ad and placed a new one right below it:
Local Painting Witch (Apartment 203): Lilac Catlily-Parker- Magical charms inside subpar paintings!!! A+++++ WOULD REQUEST AGAIN

My paintings are not subpar! Yet, despite that, I can’t find it in myself to be mad at her. She hasn’t been on my case about laundry at all since.

uspol, us ev. christianity 

I can't stand watching these people who value guns over children, who value corporations over humans, who claim a "personal relationship with Jesus" while they worship at the altars of Baal and Mammon, call their political opponents "Satanists" and "depraved".

In the US, companies are under no obligation to honor any request that they stop sending you physical mail. Send them as many requests in as varied a format as you like; they can ignore each and every one.

EXCEPT. If you say "please stop, this mailing made me horny", they are required by federal law to immediately block your address. It doesn't have to be honest or sincere; just saying "your ad turned me on, and I don't like it" is enough. 🌈⭐️

what's the equivalent word to "goofy" in other languages? I'm specifically looking for words that not only mean "goofy" but that *sound* goofy to native speakers of the language in question

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Hic quoque abibit.

Just Ellie (and perhaps some of her toys).